The Money Shot

2011-10-01-17-36-09-578, a photo by Jimi C on Flickr.

There’s no denying it, Brighton is a fantastic place in the summer. All the best concentrated into one place – and this year, all the year’s fun concentrated into one day.

The Tragic Careers Advisor

You may remember that episode in Friends when Joey gets a call from his agent; eager to let him know of a great new acting job that’s up for grabs, and he realises that he was fired and no-one’s told him yet. A bizarre and hilarious situation that still has me giggling even after seeing it on E4 millions of times. Well I guess it’s ironic because that just happened to me, only it was weirder.

I was in the office busy trying to stay awake when a timid lass came round and asked after my manager. As he wasn’t in, she told me that she wanted to apply for a job in my section as a change from her work “up in commercial” and that she needed to know if it was too technical for her to apply. Out of the kindness of my heart I offered to look it over. The job title looked markedly familiar, but then ‘Technical Assistant’ could mean anything in the randomised slot machine of businessese (that employers use in the hope of glamming-up ‘Secretary’). So I chugged happily on to the job description.

Then the penny dropped. It had to drop three times before I could understand that I had just stepped out of real life and into the insanity of Channel 4′s finest.

This is my job! She’s applying for my job! My job’s being advertised! How much is it paying! Wow it’s going to be a permanent position! Maybe I should put in for it! Why am I thinking of applying for a job I’m already doing?

Looking up I realised that she was still sitting there and with her face contorted in that way that would make puppies vomit. So naturally I thought it best to do the right thing and sabotage her application. Then my brain decided to cave in and my ruddy Christianity emerged from the depths to tell her as calmly as you please that she has nothing to worry about from the engineering side of the job. I was treading water in the sea of mixed thoughts: Am I being fired? Is this all a ruse so they can make me an ‘official’ worker (in that corrupt way favoured by dictators)?

Looking back on it I find it funny how sometimes you can draw on a well of grace that is resolutely not your own. I would have thought going weird and stuttery or devious and selfish would be the order of the day in such a strange situation, but merely responding to her questions honestly and with balance was strange even to a spineless coward like me.

I even chirped “Good luck!” in farewell. Thankfully I don’t believe in such a thing so I’m sure that won’t count.

Greater and Lesser Gods

Sometimes it confuses me when someone distinguishes themselves as ‘of faith’ or ‘without [a] faith’. I have been growing increasingly aware of how hope is crucial for every moment of life and that faith – its older sister – enables us to endure day in, day out.

 

Fine, ‘faith’ usually refers to something extraordinary such as a supernatural or metaphysical concept but I think it’s equally important to open our eyes to the other faith systems we ALL belong to. Perhaps David Cameron is not a god, but we still put a gargantuan amount of faith in our government; its local council; its legal system.

 

Recently I started to ask if there is a ‘new god’ for our times, taking its place to try and supplant a Divine Ruler. Is this pretender Human Rights? To understand my point, you would need to look at the way the law evolved here in the UK:

 

1. Natural law – divine laws are our laws, they are superior to man.

2. Positivism – humanity is not trustworthy enough to speak for God. Our laws are the works of man.

3. Realism – a case will depend on what the judge ate for breakfast. The individual decides YOUR law.

 

I think we are encouraged to view human rights as universalists: like natural lawyers, we say that a person’s freedom of expression or right to a private family life is innate in our humanity. I have been thinking that human rights are actually nothing more than printed words that people agree to enforce. Don’t get me wrong, I think they’re essential tools for protecting the weak but let’s call a spade a spade and Human Rights a faith system.

 

We put our faith in many more things than God.

 

Should we?

Film Review In A Nutshell: ‘The Disappearance of Alice Creed’

Heart attack.

Annoying Film Cliché No.4

Will Smith Saves The World